Friday, July 29, 2016

I'm...Driving Across the Country? + ROAD TRIP PLAYLIST

So...we're actually doing it.

I was completely and immediately hooked when the prospect of this cross-country adventure came up about a month ago. Toward the end of June, my friend approached me and proposed the idea of driving from Portland, ME (our home base) to Laguna Beach, CA (where our friend's family is relocating). "It makes perfect sense," he claimed...

• "His family needs a car out there anyways, so they'll take care of gas expenses..."
• "All of us have expressed interest in embarking on a coast-to-coast road trip at some point in our lives...So why not now?"
• "The timing is pristine, as it'll take place during the first two weeks of August — we'll have
just enough time at home once we get back before each of us leaves for college..."
• "You're always talking about embracing being ALIVE..." 
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

(I just butchered expressing the wonderful, ceaseless reasons as to why I feel so strongly that I must go on this trip, so I'm going to stop with the listing for now...Altogether: such list could continue infinitely — the situation could not be more alluring and imperfectly perfect).

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

"Unlined Paper" — You're A Work In Progress.

There's no proper way to begin this post, so I'm just going to let my mind run freely. Right now, I don't really know what I'm doing with my life. That being said, I desperately need to organize my life — or so it feels that way. First things first, I'm thinking about unlined paper...Strange, I know. I'm thinking about the fact that unlined paper is challenging for me — perplexing and a bit frustrating. Why?

Truly, without there being lines (when I'm writing something by hand on paper), I notice that I subconsciously create the lines myself...I imagine that such lines are there and, in response, act accordingly. Conformity? Muscle memory? Perfectionism? Adapting to what I think is "right"?

I want
no lines
to exist
             in life
                           or in my head.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Soundtrack to My...July

Sparkling pavement, salty air, wispy clouds, calloused feet, tangled hair, battered air conditioners, late nights, cold coffee...
It has been a wonderful month thus far. I have felt incredibly present — a feeling that is fairly unfamiliar to me.
My time has been spent exploring, interacting, creating, engaging, and living.

Music has a way of enhancing my life in a way that no other thing can.
That being said, here are some songs that have accompanied me recently whilst...
• picnicking on the promenade — munching on fresh bread and berries
• strolling around downtown, window shopping — feet sweaty and blistering
• sipping my coffee in the sunroom at 9 AM (with no agenda-induced anxiety lingering)
• driving down the highway — windows down and sticky air seeping in...

Saturday, July 16, 2016

What do YOU want to do?

I was recently having a conversation with a close friend of mine — a fairly commonplace/normal conversation for us, might I add — when he challenged me. Now, this definitely isn't unusual when it comes to him, as he challenges me often; he challenges me intellectually through inquiring (deeply) about what it is that I'm discussing or talking about and prompting me to

be curious
form my own opinions
understand why I think what I think
                       say what I say
                                   believe what I believe

...and so on. However, the way in which he challenged me this time struck a particularly noteworthy chord within me. It's ironic too, because it's one of the most simple and straightforward ways he has ever challenged me. He asked me,

"What do you want to do?"

Naturally, being the clarifier that I am, I responded by asking him what he meant.

"Today? With what? Right now? With who? What do you mean?"

He didn't answer my question. Instead, he began telling me some things that he wants to do. I learned that he'd like to work on Wall Street; drive cross country; buy a motorcycle; gain as many certifications as possible; visit South Africa; be a bridge...and the list went on — infinitely. 

Daily, I think about what I want — to eat; to do; out of life...
But do I really?